Midnight Train to Nowhere pt1

She stands on the platform. Waiting…impatient, her ears straining to hear the clunk, clunk-clunk-clunk-clunk of the midnight train. She is restless. She is walking in place. She is zipping her cut onyx crucifix along its chain. First slowly, then building up steam until the zipping becomes the sound of a bee buzzing in her ears, irritating her, causing her to slow it down to a more tolerable speed.
She is all arms and legs and boho-rocker chic. Small but not skinny, tall but not lanky. She wears her clothes well.
She is an icon. She is the “I want to dress like her” girl. The “Oh…My…God! Where did she get that? I want one too” girl.
She carries a bag. It is heavy. Almost as heavy as her heart. Almost as heavy as the guilt she carries with her for leaving. God knows she doesn’t want to. But God also knows that she has no choice…
Zip, zip, zip, zip, zip, zip, zip…she stops. What was that noise she just heard…? A sob…? From her…? It couldn’t be. She dabs at her face with the index and middle finger of her right hand. Her cheek is wet.
Damn it Hailey. This is not the time to cry, she tells herself. She pulls out a black hankie with white polka dots and rids her face of any and all tears. Smearing her mascara in the process.
She is able to quell the storm. To keep herself from falling apart. From uttering his name.
She takes a deep breath. And just as she’s about to start zipping her onyx crucifix again she hears it. The clunk, clunk-clunk-clunk of the midnight train.
She manages a smile. Even if just a small one. Even if it is more of a grimace than an actual smile. It is 11:59 and the train is right on time.
As the seconds pass, the clunk, clunk-clunk-clunk-clunk of the train becomes louder. The platform beneath her feet begins to rumble. There is the short blast of a horn. A moment later, another slightly longer one. It is the train announcing its arrival.
Hailey glances at her watch.
Count to five, she tells herself.
1…2…3…4…five.
The train comes rumbling into the station. All steam and screeching brakes, the cars rocking from side to side as it grinds to a halt.
With a hiss all the doors to all the cars open. No one gets off and she is the only one waiting on the platform. Shrugging, Hailey thumbs the shoulder straps of her bag and climbs onto the train.
The train is close to empty. An old man in a coat so tattered that it cant even be called a coat any more, a young woman about her age but who looks twice as old carrying a baby and a couple who obviously think that they were the only people in the car are her fellow passengers.
Hailey finds a seat as far from all of them as she could, slipping her bag off of her shoulders and putting it on the seat next to her as she sits.
A minute passes. Then another. No one else boards. There is a hiss and the doors close. The train pulls out of the station.
As the train builds up speed it begins to rock, from side to side, left to right, the clunk, clunk-clunk-clunk-clunk of its wheels against the tracks slowly lulling Hailey to sleep.
She begins to sink in her seat. She is exhausted. It has been a long day…a long night. She is just beginning to realize just how tiring this whole “doing the right thing” can be.
But is it really the right thing? She asks herself. Leaving? Because it seems kind of selfish to me.
As if in answer, her phone rings.
She tries to ignore it but it doesn’t stop. Grumbling to herself, Hailey digs into her pocket and pulls out her phone. It’s Damon. What could he possibly want?
Hailey debates with herself whether to answer it or not but she knows its really no debate at all, she’s going to answer it. And she does.
“Hello?” her voice is somnolent, her voice is weak. Her voice is disheartened, her voice is sad.
“Hailey. Listen to me. Where are? I want to come and get you. You need to come back. You need to come back…”
The anguish in his voice is obvious. He needed her. He was lost without her. He wanted her to come home…
She doesn’t answer.
“Hailey?” His voice is desperate. He sounds as if he is on the verge of tears.
“Damon. I ca-…I can’t.” it breaks Hayely’s heart to even say it. It breaks Damon’s heart even more to hear it.
“Don’t talk like that Hailey. We can talk about it. We can fix this. Just tell me where you are.”
Hailey sighs. She can feel the tears beginning to well up in her eyes. She is so close to giving in. so close to letting her resolve crumble into a million pieces.
“I love you Hailey. It doesn’t have to end like this.” It is almost a whisper. She almost doesn’t hear it. But she does. And that is all it takes.
She is all nervous fingers. All smeared mascara and quivering lips. All creased forehead, saline eyes and bleeding heart. Ok Damon, you win…you win…
“Lovelace Station. Or at least I will be in about 5 minutes. I’m on the midnight train to Nowearn”
There is a sigh. Relief. Relief and…and release.
“Ok. Get off there. Wait for me.”
Hailey isn’t so sure about this but she agrees.
“And Hailey?”
“Yes?”
“I love you.”
Hailey opens her mouth to say it back. But she can’t. Not yet. There is still too much between them. Instead she tells him that she will see him soon…
She is the one who hangs up.

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4 Comments»

  Princess wrote @

You’ll get used to (and annoyed by) my attention to detail pretty soon. 🙂 Steam on a train that has automatic doors? And is she in Europe? ‘Coz there sure as hell ain’t no network on the subway here…

Is Damon an ass? Hurry up with part 2!

  The Scratched Records wrote @

observation duly noted and HIGHLY appreciated!lol and to answer your qtn; yeah she is in Europe or america…anywhere but here…havnt seen ANYONE dress boho-rocker chic here…

  Mckeith wrote @

America maybe.. The name haily. Then maybe europe because of the white polka dotts on her hanky. :-). The steam train has auto-doors…?
‘the lovelace station’.. Damon should watch out. When I Listen to the word ‘lovelace’ being pronounced, the more I feel sorry for damon…
Waiting 4 part 2..

  The Scratched Records wrote @

@Mckeith;
yes i know, about the whole steam-auto doors scenario…i was trying to fill in words…i kinda hoped people wouldnt notice…lol anyway, kip ure eyes peeled cuz INCOMING!


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