a lot has happened since i wrote to you last. hearts have been broken, friendships rekindled, partnerships formed, principles tested, suspicions confirmed…its been a journey. one full of sleepless nights, euphoric highs, devastating lows, heart thumping, chest beating, hand wringing and head holding. one that has enlightened, one that has incensed, one that has blown upon me the winds of change. change for the better…change for the worse? maybe…but change none the less. I’ve been encouraged, I’ve been inspired, I’ve been shaken into action…
one foot in front of the other, they say. you have to walk before you run, they say, run before you fly…
they say.
and I have to be honest, I’m a little scared. everything’s happening so fast. so fast, in fact, that half the time i have no idea what I’m doing. but don’t tell my clients that. the only thing that i DO know for sure is that this is what i want. this is what i was born for. God has made me see that. I’ve never wanted anything so bad in my life. and it brings tears to my eyes, yes, literal tears, to know that God has been there every step of the way. to see him opening doors that would have otherwise been impossible to open, to feel his presence around me ALL the time, fighting my battles, cleansing my wounds, giving me guidance, whispering in my ear, everyday without fail, “I love you, I love you, i love you…”
and you know what? on top of all of that, I’m having fun. and yes i know, i may get home bone tired everyday, not wanting to do anything more than just fall into my bed and snore it all away but in spite of all of that, I’m having the time of my life. I’m one of the fortunate few who can actually say, i love my job. And i have God to thank for every single second of it. and as i sit here typing this i pray to God that my efforts may not be in vain. and more so right now, at this very second, that he will place people in my life that will not hinder but help me further the work that he has started in me. because the truth is, i am just a man and i can not do this alone…
to bring this baby home, I wrote something a few weeks ago called “The Sailor’s Wife” (and no you haven’t read it, reason being i wasn’t satisfied with how it turned out. maybe one day, if you ask really nicely) and it was talking about the winds of change. something i touched on in the beginning. that change comes like a storm. with a chilly breeze and murderous looking clouds. and that like its older brother “time”, it waits for no man. and so we need to be ready. I’ve decided that I’m ready for change, that even though I’m scared half to death of change, I’m going to embrace it…
the question is, are you?
and oh, since it IS my part of my job, in case you HAVEN’T had a listen yet, i present to you…”Livid” by Chelle. (Plz check out the link below)
I Left My Eyeliner at Home 
I like this outpouring of heart or should I say soul? I’m glad you’re in the wonderful position of doing what you want to do with your life, when you want to do it.
Don’t let go of the dream!