On Going Troglodyte/ Leave Me Alone, I’ll Shave When I Damn Well Feel Like It!

go ahead, call me that messy haired emo kid with the far away stare and off beat sensibility. see if i care. so what if i havnt shaved in almost 3 weeks. and no, i’m not trying to grow out my beard, i just havnt gotten around to it yet, ok? and my hair? yeah, after the last guy totally butchered it i’m kind of reluctant to let anybody else touch it. and yes, that even means Alex, my trusty barber of ten years…plus he’s way too far out of the way anyway. well, at least run a comb through it, you say. hmmm…tell you what, tell me that again tomorrow…
i needed this week off. 6 days (almost seven) of just slumming it. sure, i wasnt feeling well but more than anything i just needed to rest. to give myself time to think. Time to feel. Time to process the last couple of months. time to piece myself back together.
“So you mean you were you broken?” you might ask.
I was. I still am. I have been for a long time. and ive never taken the time to make the neccessary steps towards repairing myself. Thank God for being the kind of God he is and shouldering most of it for me but there are some things that no one can take on but me. things that ive neglected. things that need to be taken care of. on every plane of existence that i exist on. this week was a chance to climb up into the attic, scramble around in some boxes, dust things off and examine them in the harsh light of stone cold reality. it was a step forward. i still have alot of work ahead of me.
but i needed this week. these 6 days (almost seven) of almost no phone calls, late nights and do-nothing-but-think-and-maybe-watch-a-little-TV-plus-a-smidgen-of-writing days, of waking up at ten and making a breakfast fit to feed 5 grown men, of afternoon naps and on occasion evening walks when not feeling so beat down.
and would you please stop looking at me like that. i’m an artist (and no, that is not me being presumptive) and tend to become reclusive when dealing with stuff. when REALLY dealing with stuff. i usually write out my issues but lately ive been so busy with being the illest that i can be that all that stuff has sort of been piling up. and thats just on the emotional plane.
i do sorta wish i had had more than this week to get my head back on straight, my body back in working order. but no, i have a life to get back to. commitments to meet, promises to keep, a business, no a LIFE to build…
i’m thankful for the reprieve but its time to jump back into the fray…
so world, i hope youre ready.

P.S. Ive always wanted to date a model and now seems as good a time as any…anybody know any and willing to set a brova up?

(On Repeat) “Sway” By The Kooks


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